Today just like any other day, I wake up thinking the purpose for the day. I am a 28 year old still trying to figure out life and a meaning to my life. I feel like any job any materialistic thing I buy or gifted to me does only a little happiness and then that tiny bit of temporary happiness is GONE. I am struggling not knowing what to do with my life, yet I see everyone around me, although they don’t say anything, “what is she doing with her life?”.
When I was younger, we’re talking when I was 18-24 years old I used to be this social butterfly, this girl who love to laugh at the most stupid things that didn’t need any laughter out of things said or done but I laughed at it, I’m talking about smile from cheek to cheek kind of smile. I guess, and this is from my own thoughts, maybe I started to realize, since all I did and loved as a younger Mia was to drink and hang out with friends, I am getting older with a 3 year old daughter I need to get myself together.
I had a tough upbringing to in which I’ve seen people grow up in the same or worse predicament as myself if not worse, be the type of person with compassion, love, kindness, patience, to which I have such little knowledge of. I grew up with a step mom that didn’t show any sympathy for myself or my siblings, there were three of us when my father decided to marry my step mother after my mother passed away at age 24, I was only 6 when she passed my older brother was 8 and younger sister was 3. I’ve always thought of “what would life be or how would I be if my mother never passed?” It is a tragedy I will never know and every day I feel it is a struggle to reinvent myself to be the person I would love to be from the beginning but of course it’s the way life is for myself. My father was always working and I grew up as “daddy’s little girl”, oh how I loved my dad he was everything to me.
I met my boyfriend a little after turning 25 in 2016, I didn’t have NO interest in him the first time I met him, which of course was another one of my nights out with friends and did not want to go we ended up where he was, only destiny knows what it’s doing right? First date was fun he made me laugh I still remember seeing his eyes at dinner and felt my heart beating fast, yet I thought was nervousness which I’ve never really been around people especially men, but with him I felt this way. A lot has happened in our relationship high roads low roads, fast forward to 4 years going to 5 years together and we continue to stick with each other. We have gone through a lot in which I think he was brought into my life for a reason, he made me realize there’s more to “just living” but that you really make the best out of life and use your time being here being and doing the best you can to survive and be a great person, mindfully and successfully.
I still don’t know what I am doing I’ve struggled with a lot in life and want to become a better me for myself & those around me. There is so much about my life I would love to share with you guys BUT everything in its own timing. Life does get better when you start seeing it with different lenses rather than the foggy ones that have been given to you. Do not give up and keep striving to be a better you every day!